Where is the Christian’s line for cultural participation?

[Note: The letter below is in reply to a sister who objected to being given a Valentine's card, on the basis that Valentine's Day is Catholic in origin. It brings up a thought provoking issue on which I believe we have some latitude of opinion. Any thoughts?]

Dear _____________,

Thank you for taking time to express your concern, as indicated in your email of February 27. Please allow me to make a brief response, and then you will know where I am coming from.

There is no doubt many of our holidays trace their origins to Catholic, or even pagan roots. What if, over time, the roots were forgotten and what remained were customs and traditions which were, themselves, not inherently sinful? For example, you admit it is right to express love every day, and I assume you would not object to greeting cards given throughout the year, saying “I love you.” As you indicated in your email, the young mother who gave you a card that Sunday had no idea a Valentine had any connection to Catholicism.

That is my point. We (at least, we, non-Catholics) keep the day as an American tradition. If I take my wife to dinner on February 14, it is in no way a celebration of anything Catholic. My family calls it “Valentine’s Day.” We do not call it “St. Valentine’s Day,” and we do not attach any more religious significance to it than we attach to “Martin Luther King Day.”

The question is, when faced with any given tradition (which is not wrong in itself), am I obligated to track down every facet of its history and then condemn it if I can locate any connection with false religion?

In the first century, Christians in Corinth were faced with the problem of eating meat which had a history associated with paganism. Paul said it was alright to “Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience” (1 Corinthians 10:25, ESV). If a piece of meat had been previously offered to an idol, the Christian did not need to find that out. He just needed to buy the meat and use it as God intended. If his conscience would not allow that, then he had the right not to eat meat at all (1 Corinthians 8:1-13).

So, if you choose not to participate in any way in the giving of Valentine’s cards and candy, I respect your opinion and right to do so. But I would not condemn another who chose to do something that was right, in itself (such as giving a card, candy, etc. to express affection), just because it is possible to dig into an encyclopedia and point out where the holiday originated. Especially when it originated centuries in the past and has now lost its religious connotation.

I have the right to begin a tradition in my own family, but not the right to force it on others. A nation has the right to have its own customs, but not the right to bind anything contrary to Scripture. As a citizen, I have the right to participate in my own society’s traditions, so long as they do not conflict with the Bible. The fact is, Valentine’s Day — whatever its beginning — is not considered by most Americans to be an endorsement of, or participation in the Catholic religion. Or, if it is, then I am unaware of it. I know that is not the way I grew up thinking, and it is not the way the day is viewed in my family.

One other passage, and it is Romans 14:5-6 (ASV): “One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let each man be fully assured in his own mind. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord: and he that eateth, eateth unto the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, unto the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks.”

If I understand that passage, it is saying we have the right to make certain days more important than others, in our own mind. I may count one day as special, while you consider the same day to be routine. You may count a different day as special, while I consider it to be not special. Neither of us has the right to bind our special day on the other, and neither has the right to condemn the other for regarding a day more special than another.

I hope you will give this consideration. If it does not sway your mind, then at least you know my perspective. My own wife sends out Valentine cards. I don’t think that means we are leaving the gospel. We are simply exercising an option to participate in a day the country sets aside as special by doing something that is not inherently wrong (i.e. mailing greeting cards).

If any sinful practice were being promoted, then we ought to put a stop to it right away. But many cultural traditions are practiced by people across the religious spectrum (even atheists), including Valentine’s cards, gifts at Christmas, decorating a tree, carving a pumpkin. I have the right to participate in society as long as I do not participate in sin. In my judgment, if any of those customs is to be proven as sinful, it will have to be on some basis other than merely pointing out that, hundreds of years ago, there were people who connected religious ideas to those customs. The question for us is: How are those customs perceived by Americans today? If most Americans viewed Valentine’s cards as an exercise of Catholic religion, then I would say we should not participate. But, I think that is simply not the case.

As you know, today is Thursday. But, you probably do not think of Norse mythology and the pagan god named Thor whenever you say “Thursday.” Yet, Thursday is named after Thor. If your reasoning about Valentine’s Day is correct, then we should also find another name for Thursday (and some of the other days of the week), since their names have pagan roots. However, if you can see that Thursday, in most of our minds, is not connected with Norse mythology (even though that is its true origin), then perhaps you can see that Valentine’s Day could be celebrated without making a connection to Catholicism. I hope this is helpful. Thanks again for writing, and may God bless you this week!

In His service,
Weylan Deaver, preacher
Sherman Drive church of Christ